Post by betson on Feb 13, 2007 13:41:24 GMT 11
Haha this event review is genius!! It may or may not have been removed from ITM as obviously Ministry Of Sound had a problem with it - but read it here, fucking GOLD.
Twisted pres. Kid Kenobi & MC Shureshock @ Academy, Canberra (22/12/06)
Created On January 11th, 2007 by rentboyesq
Walking back to the car after the Academy show, the Ministry of Sound minder was forced to stop and wait for The Kid to catch up. Kenobi had been in a sullen mood since closing his set, which irritated his minder. And as a further frustration, MC Shureshock had run off into the darkness, bellowing "Bassline!" as he chased after a possum he'd spotted in the nearby park.
The minder had been tasked to chaperone and monitor Kenobi (and, by default, Shureshock) for almost a year now, although it was only in the past fortnight that he'd detected any discontentment in the DJ. He had reported this change in demeanour to the appropriate authorities at the Ministry of course, and had been cautioned that The Kid would be "severely reprimanded" unless kept in check. It was not so much that he cared for the welfare of his ward – what worried him was the professional shame of being unable to keep his subject in line. It made him pine for the docility of his previous assignment, John Course.
As Kenobi caught up, the minder enquired gently, "What's wrong, Kid?"
The DJ stared at the ground and shrugged. "Nothing," he mumbled.
The minder stepped forward and placed a hand on Kenobi's shoulder. It felt cold despite the surprising early morning warmth, and it chilled the DJ like a forgotten cup of coffee. He suppressed a revolted shudder.
"You know you can't completely pack out a club every time, Kid. It's just not going to happen" – the minder made a derisive gesture with his hands – "especially not in this town. Fickle fucking Canberra."
Kenobi shrugged again.
"Is it the girl who fell over on the dancefloor? You know she turned out to be fine. All she needed was an ice pack."
"No. I know that."
"Do you want me to carry your record box, is that it? Is it too heavy for you, is that the problem?"
Kenobi looked up from the ground at this point, eyes shimmering with badly suppressed tears. "It's not heavy at all!" He dropped the metal box onto the pavement and knelt, angrily throwing the top open. "See? There's only thirteen records in here!" He began pulling them out, shaking each 12" ferociously at his Ministry minder, shouting the name of every one he removed before throwing it to the ground:
"Tonite Only – 'Where The Party's At'!
"Tocadisco – 'You're No Good For Me'!
"Who's Who – 'Not So Dirty'!
"Buy Now – 'For Sale' mashed with
"Mylo's mix of 'No More Conversations'!
"Mason – 'Exceeder'!
"The Trentmøller mix of 'Go'!"
And on he went. By the time he'd emptied the box, Kenobi had begun to cry outright. "Why can't the Minister give me something new to play?" he demanded through his weeping. "There's so much great new music out there. I mean, some of these tracks are more than a year old!"
The minder stood impassively watching the scene for a moment, until a voice in his earpiece warned him sternly to get the situation under control. He ground his teeth and squatted beside the weeping DJ. "Look, Kid. You might be getting frustrated with these songs, but you've got to remember, this isn't about you. It's about the punters. It's about the fans. Your job is to make people happy, and you did that tonight! You do that every night! Just listen."
On queue, a group of intoxicated twentysomethings strolled by on the opposite side of the road, loudly chanting "PUT YOUR HANDS UP FOR DETROIT!" The minder wrapped a consoling arm around Kenobi's shoulders. "You see? See how happy they are? That was all you, Kid. They love that song, and you played it, and you've made their night. Their week, even." He began prodding Kenobi in the chest for emphasis. "And that, Kid, is what being a DJ is all about. Don't you get it? You make people happy."
Kenobi quietened on hearing this. He nodded sheepishly, resigned and understanding, embarrassed now at his outburst. The minder passed The Kid his handkerchief and left the DJ to clean up as he stood and began calling out for the missing MC. "Shureshock!" He whistled piercingly. "Here boy!"
Moments later an excitable singlet-clad figure came bounding out of the darkness. "Bassline!" declared the MC as he began running circles around the minder. "Bassline! Ministryofsoundclubber'sguideto2007mixedbygoodwill andkidkenobioutsoon!"
"That's a good boy, Shureshock. Good boy!"
Kenobi also looked pleased to see his faithful MC, and began patting him on his sweaty buzz-cut head. "Come on, Shureshock. Let's go home."
The trio made their way to the car, and the minder opened the back door to let Shureshock scramble in, making sure to wind the window down a crack to give the MC some air. He turned to Kenobi and asked, "All good now?"
"Yeah. Sorry about before."
The minder smiled amicably. "It's OK, Kid. You've had a big day; you're just tired is all." He clapped Kenobi on the shoulder. "Let's get going." He moved around to the back of the car to open the trunk. Kenobi placed the record box inside, then turned to his minder. "You know, you've never told me your name."
The minder laughed. "It's not important. What's important is that we get you back to Sydney for some rest, hey? Come on, hop in."
Kenobi climbed into the trunk and arranged its contents before curling comfortably into the foetal position amidst them. He looked up at the minder. "Hey, can we get McDonald's at Sutton Forest maybe?"
"Bassline!" agreed MC Shureshock.
The minder smiled at Kenobi once more before closing the trunk. "Anything for you, Kid. Anything."
Twisted pres. Kid Kenobi & MC Shureshock @ Academy, Canberra (22/12/06)
Created On January 11th, 2007 by rentboyesq
Walking back to the car after the Academy show, the Ministry of Sound minder was forced to stop and wait for The Kid to catch up. Kenobi had been in a sullen mood since closing his set, which irritated his minder. And as a further frustration, MC Shureshock had run off into the darkness, bellowing "Bassline!" as he chased after a possum he'd spotted in the nearby park.
The minder had been tasked to chaperone and monitor Kenobi (and, by default, Shureshock) for almost a year now, although it was only in the past fortnight that he'd detected any discontentment in the DJ. He had reported this change in demeanour to the appropriate authorities at the Ministry of course, and had been cautioned that The Kid would be "severely reprimanded" unless kept in check. It was not so much that he cared for the welfare of his ward – what worried him was the professional shame of being unable to keep his subject in line. It made him pine for the docility of his previous assignment, John Course.
As Kenobi caught up, the minder enquired gently, "What's wrong, Kid?"
The DJ stared at the ground and shrugged. "Nothing," he mumbled.
The minder stepped forward and placed a hand on Kenobi's shoulder. It felt cold despite the surprising early morning warmth, and it chilled the DJ like a forgotten cup of coffee. He suppressed a revolted shudder.
"You know you can't completely pack out a club every time, Kid. It's just not going to happen" – the minder made a derisive gesture with his hands – "especially not in this town. Fickle fucking Canberra."
Kenobi shrugged again.
"Is it the girl who fell over on the dancefloor? You know she turned out to be fine. All she needed was an ice pack."
"No. I know that."
"Do you want me to carry your record box, is that it? Is it too heavy for you, is that the problem?"
Kenobi looked up from the ground at this point, eyes shimmering with badly suppressed tears. "It's not heavy at all!" He dropped the metal box onto the pavement and knelt, angrily throwing the top open. "See? There's only thirteen records in here!" He began pulling them out, shaking each 12" ferociously at his Ministry minder, shouting the name of every one he removed before throwing it to the ground:
"Tonite Only – 'Where The Party's At'!
"Tocadisco – 'You're No Good For Me'!
"Who's Who – 'Not So Dirty'!
"Buy Now – 'For Sale' mashed with
"Mylo's mix of 'No More Conversations'!
"Mason – 'Exceeder'!
"The Trentmøller mix of 'Go'!"
And on he went. By the time he'd emptied the box, Kenobi had begun to cry outright. "Why can't the Minister give me something new to play?" he demanded through his weeping. "There's so much great new music out there. I mean, some of these tracks are more than a year old!"
The minder stood impassively watching the scene for a moment, until a voice in his earpiece warned him sternly to get the situation under control. He ground his teeth and squatted beside the weeping DJ. "Look, Kid. You might be getting frustrated with these songs, but you've got to remember, this isn't about you. It's about the punters. It's about the fans. Your job is to make people happy, and you did that tonight! You do that every night! Just listen."
On queue, a group of intoxicated twentysomethings strolled by on the opposite side of the road, loudly chanting "PUT YOUR HANDS UP FOR DETROIT!" The minder wrapped a consoling arm around Kenobi's shoulders. "You see? See how happy they are? That was all you, Kid. They love that song, and you played it, and you've made their night. Their week, even." He began prodding Kenobi in the chest for emphasis. "And that, Kid, is what being a DJ is all about. Don't you get it? You make people happy."
Kenobi quietened on hearing this. He nodded sheepishly, resigned and understanding, embarrassed now at his outburst. The minder passed The Kid his handkerchief and left the DJ to clean up as he stood and began calling out for the missing MC. "Shureshock!" He whistled piercingly. "Here boy!"
Moments later an excitable singlet-clad figure came bounding out of the darkness. "Bassline!" declared the MC as he began running circles around the minder. "Bassline! Ministryofsoundclubber'sguideto2007mixedbygoodwill andkidkenobioutsoon!"
"That's a good boy, Shureshock. Good boy!"
Kenobi also looked pleased to see his faithful MC, and began patting him on his sweaty buzz-cut head. "Come on, Shureshock. Let's go home."
The trio made their way to the car, and the minder opened the back door to let Shureshock scramble in, making sure to wind the window down a crack to give the MC some air. He turned to Kenobi and asked, "All good now?"
"Yeah. Sorry about before."
The minder smiled amicably. "It's OK, Kid. You've had a big day; you're just tired is all." He clapped Kenobi on the shoulder. "Let's get going." He moved around to the back of the car to open the trunk. Kenobi placed the record box inside, then turned to his minder. "You know, you've never told me your name."
The minder laughed. "It's not important. What's important is that we get you back to Sydney for some rest, hey? Come on, hop in."
Kenobi climbed into the trunk and arranged its contents before curling comfortably into the foetal position amidst them. He looked up at the minder. "Hey, can we get McDonald's at Sutton Forest maybe?"
"Bassline!" agreed MC Shureshock.
The minder smiled at Kenobi once more before closing the trunk. "Anything for you, Kid. Anything."